One of the things I've had to face with being a widower is the fact that I have to start dating again if I want to spend the rest of my life with someone. Even though life is short and I'll be back with Leslie on the other side, it can still be lonely until then.
Lately, I've been having some success on the dating front. First and foremost, I'm able to be comfortable on a date once more. I've had two second dates in the last few months, which I definitely believe is a good sign. With each new date, I am becoming more confident.
The other thing I've been facing lately is early infatuation. I've been thinking about the young lady I just took out for the second second date a couple weeks ago. She's beautiful and smart. She teaches elementary school and happens to also be the Relief Society president in her YSA ward. The combination makes it a little difficult to get a hold of her sometimes. Of course, I do have my own things to worry about with pharmacy school. She's also originally from St. Louis, and flew back there this weekend for Thanksgiving.
I find myself going through the classic thoughts of "Does she like me?" "I left her a message yesterday, would it be pathetic to try to talk to her again tonight?" And of course, I just think about her in general.
I view this as a dual-edged sword. On the one end, part of the reason I got married was so that I didn't have to play these mind games, especially with myself, anymore. On the other end, I'm glad to know that I'm capable of having these experiences once again. I've got faith that I can find another wonderful person to share my life with. Unfortunately, I don't think it's going to be any easier the second time around.
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Thanksgiving List 2008
I may be jumping the gun a little bit posting the list of what I'm grateful for this year, but I don't know exactly what will happen between now and next Thursday (hopefully nothing unexpected). But seeing that I am feeling quite a bit more gratitude this year than last, I figured it would be good to write this list. Here we go.
1. Love - The love and support of family and friends has definitely been a great help this year. Even knowing that Leslie still loves me on the other side definitely helps at times as well.
2. Time - Time is needed for all wounds to heal, whether it's a few days to a few months. Or even a year.
3. School - I know I'm looking forward to being done, but school has definitely helped fill my time, allowing me to focus on rebuilding my life instead of focusing on the bad. Plus, without school, I wouldn't have had such a crazy time going all over the place the last few months.
4. Guitar Hero/Rock Band - Whoever the genius was who thought of combining video games with rock definitely came up with something good. It's a great way to relax and unwind.
5. Sisu - Finnish for guts, stubborness and determination. One of the best things I brought back from Finland.
6. Freedom - The freedom to make my life the way I want it to be. It won't be perfect by any means. It already isn't. But it can always be better.
7. Grief - Grief is one of the best teachers I've had. Not that I'm recommending that everyone sign up for his course anytime soon, but the lessons that you learn from the process are unique, as long as you are willing to accept them.
Happy Thanksgiving!
1. Love - The love and support of family and friends has definitely been a great help this year. Even knowing that Leslie still loves me on the other side definitely helps at times as well.
2. Time - Time is needed for all wounds to heal, whether it's a few days to a few months. Or even a year.
3. School - I know I'm looking forward to being done, but school has definitely helped fill my time, allowing me to focus on rebuilding my life instead of focusing on the bad. Plus, without school, I wouldn't have had such a crazy time going all over the place the last few months.
4. Guitar Hero/Rock Band - Whoever the genius was who thought of combining video games with rock definitely came up with something good. It's a great way to relax and unwind.
5. Sisu - Finnish for guts, stubborness and determination. One of the best things I brought back from Finland.
6. Freedom - The freedom to make my life the way I want it to be. It won't be perfect by any means. It already isn't. But it can always be better.
7. Grief - Grief is one of the best teachers I've had. Not that I'm recommending that everyone sign up for his course anytime soon, but the lessons that you learn from the process are unique, as long as you are willing to accept them.
Happy Thanksgiving!
Monday, November 10, 2008
Life after death
People have commented to me on a few occasions this year on how strong I've been handling Leslie's death. I've been thinking about that a bit lately (mainly the last few weeks seeing I didn't have too many distractions in Boise).
The secret to that success comes from Leslie. When her family put together a little historical documentary, her father asked her what she would tell the next generation. She said, "Live life. Have fun. And that's it."
When I saw that clip again during the funeral and at other times during the past 16 months, I made the choice to follow that advice. It isn't easy all the time, but it's helped me move on and remember what this life is all about.
The secret to that success comes from Leslie. When her family put together a little historical documentary, her father asked her what she would tell the next generation. She said, "Live life. Have fun. And that's it."
When I saw that clip again during the funeral and at other times during the past 16 months, I made the choice to follow that advice. It isn't easy all the time, but it's helped me move on and remember what this life is all about.
Monday, November 3, 2008
My final MRM
This last weekend I was busy meeting with the American Pharmacists' Association Academy of Student Pharmacists (APhA-ASP) at the Midyear Regional Meeting (MRM). I've attended these meetings since my first year in pharmacy school in Las Vegas. These meetings are always a bunch of fun, and this year was no exception.
One big change was the region in which I met in. This was USN-South Jordan's first meeting with Region 7 (Washington, Oregon, Utah, Idaho and Montana). The meeting was in Boise, which was perfect for me being already up here on rotation. Friday night there was a Halloween Casino Party along with a Guitar Hero tournament. I placed 4th in the tournament.
Saturday and Sunday there were a bunch of workshops and we were able to decide on policies we wanted to see APhA take on, which is the main reason I love this meeting. I may be a pharmacy student, but my voice matters with APhA right now and in the future when I'm a pharmacist. I got to be the delegate for the school in the voting process. It was awesome.
I'll be going through withdrawals next fall seeing I won't be a student member of APhA anymore. The MRM has been a great weekend every school year and I'll miss it.
One big change was the region in which I met in. This was USN-South Jordan's first meeting with Region 7 (Washington, Oregon, Utah, Idaho and Montana). The meeting was in Boise, which was perfect for me being already up here on rotation. Friday night there was a Halloween Casino Party along with a Guitar Hero tournament. I placed 4th in the tournament.
Saturday and Sunday there were a bunch of workshops and we were able to decide on policies we wanted to see APhA take on, which is the main reason I love this meeting. I may be a pharmacy student, but my voice matters with APhA right now and in the future when I'm a pharmacist. I got to be the delegate for the school in the voting process. It was awesome.
I'll be going through withdrawals next fall seeing I won't be a student member of APhA anymore. The MRM has been a great weekend every school year and I'll miss it.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)