One of the things I've had to face with being a widower is the fact that I have to start dating again if I want to spend the rest of my life with someone. Even though life is short and I'll be back with Leslie on the other side, it can still be lonely until then.
Lately, I've been having some success on the dating front. First and foremost, I'm able to be comfortable on a date once more. I've had two second dates in the last few months, which I definitely believe is a good sign. With each new date, I am becoming more confident.
The other thing I've been facing lately is early infatuation. I've been thinking about the young lady I just took out for the second second date a couple weeks ago. She's beautiful and smart. She teaches elementary school and happens to also be the Relief Society president in her YSA ward. The combination makes it a little difficult to get a hold of her sometimes. Of course, I do have my own things to worry about with pharmacy school. She's also originally from St. Louis, and flew back there this weekend for Thanksgiving.
I find myself going through the classic thoughts of "Does she like me?" "I left her a message yesterday, would it be pathetic to try to talk to her again tonight?" And of course, I just think about her in general.
I view this as a dual-edged sword. On the one end, part of the reason I got married was so that I didn't have to play these mind games, especially with myself, anymore. On the other end, I'm glad to know that I'm capable of having these experiences once again. I've got faith that I can find another wonderful person to share my life with. Unfortunately, I don't think it's going to be any easier the second time around.
3 comments:
Oh Rob I feel for you. Dating is something that my sister also has fears about since her husband passed. She has not done it yet so if its okay with you, I might share your post. Just to let her know someone braved the fear! I am wishing you all the luck in the endeavers!
I wish you all the luck (and blessings) in the world!!! The dating game is definitely not easy. I can't imagine what it would be like for you to do it again. Just know that your friends are here and cheering for you!! :)
I don't know how to get a hold of you other than this. I appreciate the offer. It's this Friday. I don't know if you would be up to driving up here. It's kinda far. But if you're available, it could be fun. The Christmas Show at the Institute is always good.
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